Have you ever felt that creeping sense of unease without a clear cause? A racing heart or a feeling of dread about the future, even when everything seems fine? If so, you are far from alone. Anxiety is an incredibly common human experience, with the Mental Health Foundation and the NHS reporting that a staggering 1 in 6 people suffer from it each week.
We often treat this feeling as a personal weakness or a modern flaw to be suppressed. But what if our fundamental understanding of anxiety is wrong, and by reframing our perspective, we can move from fear to empowerment?
Understanding these surprising truths can change your relationship with anxiety, allowing you to not just cope with it, but to listen to what it might be trying to tell you.
Anxiety Isn’t a Modern Flaw—It’s an Ancient Survival Program
Anxiety is not a new phenomenon, but an ancient survival mechanism that has evolved with humans for thousands of years. Bygone civilisations had words for it; in Latin and Ancient Greek, the root words for anxiety meant “to strangle” and “to constrict,” capturing the physical tightness that is still so familiar today.
The central problem today is that our ancient biology hasn’t caught up with our rapidly changing modern world. Our internal alarm system, still tuned for spotting tigers, is now triggered by non-physical threats like being late for a meeting, a difficult conversation, or uncertainty about the future. We are left with a powerful, physical feeling of imminent danger, but “the tiger never appears.” Understanding this reframes anxiety not as a personal failing, but as a biological mismatch. This insight alone can reduce self-blame and open the door to a more compassionate approach.
Here is the main video delivered by me using my original source material:
Here is a conversational podcast (generated by AI) that drills down into the themes touched upon here for understanding anxiety from a different angle:
Your “Helpful” Distractions Might Be Making It Worse
When the uncomfortable feeling of anxiety arises, our first instinct is often to escape it, especially when we feel powerless and not in control. We reach for our phones, turn on the TV, shop, or eat—anything to distract ourselves from the painful sensation of being unable to resolve the source of our unease.
While distraction provides immediate, short-term relief, it can create a dangerous feedback loop. The more we try to run from the feeling, the more power we give it. As psychological experts explain, this cycle can become self-defeating:
…the more we run away from anxiety, the more it haunts us, even hunting us and creates a vicious cycle of feeling anxiety, distraction so it goes away and then anxiety again.
This cycle can escalate over time. The anxiety often returns stronger, the distraction becomes less effective, and we may start avoiding situations altogether to prevent the feeling from arising in the first place. This avoidance causes our world to get “smaller and smaller,” shutting down our ability to grow and live a fulfilling life.
It’s Not the Situation, It’s Your Thoughts About the Situation
Consider this simple scenario: you are waiting for a bus that is running late.As you watch the minutes tick by, you feel your anxiety rise. Your heart starts pounding, and your mind races. But is it the late bus that is actually causing your anxiety?
The anxiety doesn’t come from the external event itself, but from the internal narrative you build around it. It’s the cascade of “what if” thoughts about the future consequences—a process known as catastrophising. What if I miss my appointment? What if my boss gets angry? What if this ruins my whole day? These thoughts, however, are not random; they are fueled by your deepest beliefs about what is important.
The big secret is that it was never the bus being late making you anxious. It was the thought about what would happen if the bus didn’t come, and your reaction to that thought is based on your beliefs.
If you are someone for whom being on time is a core value representing professionalism and respect, your brain will begin to perceive the late bus as a “tiger in the grass.” This is a pivotal insight because it shifts the focus of control. You cannot control the bus, but you can learn to investigate the core beliefs that shape your internal responses to uncontrollable events.
You Can Physically Short-Circuit an Anxiety Response
When anxiety hits, your body goes into pure survival mode. Survival hormones like cortisol flood your system, and the higher regions of your brain responsible for rational, cognitive thought are bypassed. You are physically primed to handle an immediate threat. The good news is that you can use conscious, physical techniques to counteract this state.
One of the most powerful tools is mindful breathing. When anxious, your breathing becomes shallow and quick. To reverse this, force your belly out as you breathe in slowly, then exhale just as slowly. Another effective tool is Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR), which involves systematically tensing a muscle group and then slowly releasing it to teach your body to let go of tension.
These techniques work because they require cognitive processing. By forcing you to concentrate on your breath or your muscles, you reactivate the higher-level brain regions that were shut down during the survival response. You literally distract your mind from the perceived threat and re-engage your capacity for calm, rational thought. The underlying principle is simple: you can’t feel relaxed and anxious at the same time. By engaging in these calming tasks, you shift your body’s response away from panic and back toward equilibrium.
That Nagging Anxiety Might Be a Deeper Signal
While some anxiety is a direct response to daily stressors, a persistent, underlying feeling of unease may be more than just a reaction—it could be a message from within. This nagging feeling might be a signal related to your personal values—the core principles that guide your behavior and give you a sense of meaning and satisfaction.
This perspective suggests that chronic anxiety can be a sign that we are living a life that is out of alignment with our own core values, perhaps by living according to the values of others. That nagging feeling of anxiety might just be calling to your own sense of purpose, telling you that the way you are living is in conflict with who you truly are. To explore this, you have to ask yourself some challenging questions.
Ask yourself: What do you do in your life that is purely for you? Or do you spend your life functioning for other people? This isn’t about being selfish; it’s about understanding whether your actions are nurturing your own needs for purpose and meaning.
Conclusion: What Is Your Anxiety Trying to Tell You?
Anxiety is not a personal weakness to be ashamed of, but a complex and deeply human experience. By understanding it as a mismatched survival tool, recognizing the power our beliefs have in fueling it, and learning to physically calm our body’s response, we can begin to change our relationship with it. Instead of an enemy to be defeated, anxiety can become a messenger.
These insights shift the goal from eliminating anxiety to understanding it. We move from a position of helplessness to one of empowerment, equipped with the knowledge to manage our internal state and listen more closely to our inner world. Instead of asking “How do I get rid of this anxiety?”, what if the more powerful question is, “What is my anxiety trying to tell me?”
If these blogs have resonated with you and you would like to know more about how the issues covered can be applied to your experience, please click the link below to book an initial free assessment with a view to starting counselling.
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